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Being Single and 50 on the Soul Scene

It’s interesting being back out on the dating scene after an 18 year relationship and I find that there are many people in their 40s, 50s and 60s who find themselves single for whatever reason so how do you find that new partner?

Two years ago when I started dating again my younger sister said to me ‘oh its all changed now people meet on dating apps, go for coffee and split the bill’, to be honest I was a bit worried as I’d always liked talking to people, having fun and if there was a spark and they asked me, going out for dinner and bottle of wine whilst we chatted and got to know each other better. I would also expect them to pay, even though I would offer to split the bill I would be surprised if they accepted and would be unlikely to go on a second date. Therefore how does online dating work for our age group? OK so I tried Tinder, it was the only one I knew of in my defence but there are loads now Bumble, Zoosk, Elite, Match, eHarmony, etc. I did chat to some nice guys and lots of complete tossers too, I’m afraid but I suppose at least you can filter out a little bit before you arrange to meet. The thing I didn’t like was that it was all based on how you look which I don’t think is the best way to know if there is any chemistry. Attraction is based on lots of factors and for me I need to be able to talk to someone, to feel I can trust them and for them to make me laugh. I did meet up with one chap though and we went out for a few weeks then I decided that dating apps were not for me, although I do have a friend who met her now husband through one so I suggest you try it and see if it works for you. What have you got to lose, eh?

What next for real life daters?

I wanted to go out more, get fitter, have fun and make new friends whether that was friends to hit the dance floor with or someone as a potential partner so I started to go to soul nights on a regular basis. I had found my nirvana as the soul family have in my opinion always been the best of people, kind, caring, considerate, there is never any trouble or arguments so the atmosphere has always been positive and the most fun. I know that I have something in common with whoever I meet instantly (our love of good music), I can chat over the course of the evening and test out the chemistry on the dance floor before agreeing to give out my number, if they ask, of course. I also feel safe as I know lots of other people who would keep a vague eye and be there if anyone got a bit handsy. I have met so many new people and kindly been asked out on dates by some very respectable gentlemen who have always treated me very well. That is not to say that every relationship works out for whatever reason but that is the nature of the game, isn’t it? You’ve got to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince! I wish all my single friends the best of luck in finding their Soul Mate.

Join me and my beautiful soul friends at Soul Sophisticates Valentines night on Saturday February 15th at The Trading House, near Bank, 8pm until 4am. Dinner packages, birthday, VIP and group bookings all available on Eventbrite at or contact or call Martyn at James Shoecare on 0208 550 1440

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