Love Letter to a Cheating Husband

Its funny how life can sometimes spin on its head and your whole world can change overnight. 

For some it could be the loss of someone close to them, or a cancer diagnosis or maybe a redundancy. For me it was finding out that the husband I had loved for 18 years was having an affair. A shock and surprise as it’s the one thing we had always promised never to do to each other as both of our fathers had done the same to our mothers.

Once the initial shock had subsided though I’ve realised I have a lot to thank him for so here it is….

Thank you for falling in love with me and teaching me that there are more important things in life than your career and money. 

Thank you for our two beautiful, super smart, little girls who are growing up fast at 10 and 13 years old now.

Thank you for many happy years. We partied hard in our early thirties at all the private members clubs, best restaurants in town and the coolest cocktail bars. We married, had the kids but still had dinner parties for our friends, went out to the cinema, went dancing to soul music occasionally and continued to eat at fabulous restaurants. We had house parties and holidayed in the Caribbean. We luckily managed to still socialise, work and have a family life too and he still made me laugh. He cooked for me, helped around the house, took his turn picking up the kids from school and told me he loved me. I was happy and content with my lovely life.

I can’t thank you for the last year of our relationship, the lies, the affair, the drinking, the disrespect but I can thank you for what came afterwards.

Thank you for allowing me to reinvent myself at the age of 49 in time to rock my fifties.

Thank you for giving me a new lease on life. I’ve trimmed down a size or two, got fitter, experimented with fashion, refocused on my career, started dating again (there are some stories to tell here) and made new plans for a now much more unpredictable but exciting future.

Thank you for being reasonable in the divorce, letting me keep the house I bought before we married and have full custody of the kids. 

Thank you for never badmouthing me to your friends, your family and most importantly to our lovely girls. My relationship with them is closer than ever and I cherish every day I get to spend with them.

Thank you for letting me share our joint friends and not asking them to choose a side.

And finally thank you letting me still believe in LOVE.

Davina Lines is co-founder of a new soul night for a more mature and sophisticated crowd, Soul Sophisticates. This new venture stems from a new zest for life at 50, a place where we can dance, make new friends and enjoy quality music over top shelf drinks. A place to make new friends and maybe find love.

Join me and Mike Vitti (Mi-Soul & Ronnie Scotts), Mark Williams (Soul Network) and Jon Junior (Bar 300) on Saturday November 2nd from 10pm until 4am at The Trading House, Gresham Street, near Bank for a night of Soul, Rare Groove, Soulful House and RnB. Tickets from £12 at https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/soul-sophisticates-tickets-73889763271 or via Paypal please contact davina@soulsophisticates.com

If Fitzroy lets me, I’d like to take you with me on my journey of rediscovery next. Getting over the shock of a marriage breakdown, dating tips and nightmares, Tinder, therapy, setting up a new business, expanding my existing business and being a single parent. Music and soul nights have been a very important part of becoming happy again and building a new future plus they are a great place to make new friends and line up that next date. You’ve got kiss a few frogs to find your prince!

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